As a seasoned football analyst trained in London’s data-driven culture, I’ve seen countless transfers—but this one raises eyebrows. Levorkus just signed 22-year-old Liverpool center-back Wansa, and the official announcement reads like satire wrapped in analytics. His contract runs till 2030, his jersey number is ‘4’, and the GM claims he’ll ‘inject vitality into the defense’. Let me be clear: this isn’t scouting—it’s speculative fiction dressed as transfer news. The real story? Data doesn’t lie. But who wrote it?